Redundancy
I wouldn’t write, “I teach for the English Department of English at Florida Atlantic University.”
Unfortunately, when it comes to writing, too many people produce sentences that are pregnant with redundancy …
Some Egregious Examples, from various sources:
Virginia Perez is a working mom and mother of two.
Before you decide to have a pool built in your own backyard, be sure to do your homework first.
I am in the process of buying a home.
The purpose of this letter is to confirm that this request to forward mail is correct.
Here are some more, with their sources and my corrections:
Wrong: All plants need the same basic care. They need sunlight, proper soil, moisture in the soil, humidity in the air, and the proper temperature. (article on plants)
Correct: All plants need the same basic care: the proper sunlight, soil, moisture, humidity and temperature.
Wrong: South Florida, already a densely populated area, is, without a doubt, one of the fastest-growing regions in the country, and with such tremendous growth comes a great increase in population. (article on nursing shortage)
Correct: South Florida, already densely populated, is one of the fastest-growing regions in the country.
Wrong: In order to acquire financing for your company, you need a well-written business plan. (ad in business magazine)
Correct: To acquire financing for your company, you need a well-written business plan.
Wrong: If anyone is interested in joining this organization, they may call (561) 555-1234. (12 words; story on non-profit agency)
Better: Anyone interested in joining this organization may call (561) 555-1234. (9 words)
Best: To join this organization, call (561) 555-1234. (6 words; i.e., a 50 percent savings over the original version!)
Wrong: As I was growing up in Minnesota, I often visited an aunt in Minneapolis whose favorite color was red. (home-decorating column)
Correct: Growing up in Minnesota, I often visited an aunt in Minneapolis whose favorite color was red.
Wrong: If you’re in the process of designing a new home or renovating your current residence, pay special attention to the flooring. (21 words; column by an interior designer)
Correct: If you’re designing a new home or renovating your current one, pay special attention to the flooring. (17 words; designing or renovating a home is a process!)